Sweating it out

It's amazing to look at how my coping mechanisms have changed over the past year. Walking yesterday when I couldn't wrap my head around my assignments was perfect. It didn't take me long to figure out a few of the things that were bothering me most. Halfway through I felt the urge to write, so I sat down on the rocks overlooking the golf course and used the note pad on my phone. I wish I had brought my inquiry journal because it felt funny sitting there typing away on my phone, but writing seems to be my natural way of sorting emotions and it was all I had. I'll email it to myself and post it up here later.

Today was my first day back at BDHQ since the half marathon and it felt *wonderful.* I went in there telling myself I'd go only as hard as I could because I had done the half and was still recovering from my flu. And then I saw Michele was teaching spin... all thoughts of taking it easy went straight out the window. I spent the next hour sweating it out and pushing myself as hard as I could. Any time I wanted to give up or take it down a notch, I'd tell myself "if you can run a half marathon, you can sure as hell do this." The two highlights of the class were finally figuring out how to sprint standing up with no tension and for the first time spinning without a bounce for the whole time she told us to, every time. I can do it, it's just incredibly hard. Which I am guessing is the point. :)

It was exactly what I needed. I'm back at home now, finishing off my protein pancakes (hoping my stomach doesn't hate me later for it) and ready to go. I feel strong. No more whining for me. Too bad if I'm not feeling my assignments as much as I used to. They still have to get done and I need to respect my profs enough to put in my best effort.

So, next time I'm feeling off, I know step 1 needs to be get a good sweat up. Running, hiking, or an amazing class at BDHQ.. something that will make me feel strong and proud. These next three weeks are going to need to be my best - I will get all my assignments done, eat clean, exercise and with my left over time I'll do the meditation and "soul searching" that I want to do. And my reward at the end of this hard month? I'll get my $150 back from the challenge and get myself a cute pair of boots!