So yes, self love. We all know it's important, but I've been asking myself what that really means. We all want it, but how do we actually get there? I posted the first task given to us at Biggest Winner on my facebook yesterday morning, but I thought it was worth expanding on here.
The first strategy is from Hungry for Change, an awesome documentary that I recommend for anyone and everyone! They suggest writing "I accept myself unconditionally, RIGHT NOW" on a sticky note, putting it on your mirror, and saying it out loud twice a day. At the beginning, it can bring up a lot of negative feelings..
"What are you talking about, look at (insert body part here), I'm so ugly!"
"There's so many things about myself I want to change, I can't accept myself!"
"I am doing a terrible job at work."
"I'm not _____ enough (pretty, smart, popular, etc.)."
The list could go on and on. We can be our own worst enemy at times. What the documentary suggests though, is challenging those negative feelings by accepting them. Accepting that, at that exact moment, that is how you are feeling and move on with life. Slowly, over a period of time, it's amazing to see the change to positive self talk. The act of saying those words out loud does something in our brains. I can't explain it, but I've already seen a change in myself the short time I've been doing it. These days, my thoughts are positive far more often than they are negative.
For me, the negative thoughts that come up the most when I look in mirror are usually about wanting to change myself. It's not always in a negative sense either, it's more that I want to be healthier, be kinder to myself than I am, be a better communicator. I have goals for myself that I want to meet. What I've grappled with this month has been understanding that by accepting myself, I am not saying that I am "perfect." There is no perfect. The wonderful thing about life is there are always ways to grow and be a better person. But I can't give up loving myself for who I am now because I'm not further along in my process of "being a better person." The fact that I'm thinking about it, and doing activities that are bringing me closer to my goals are what matters. That quote - it's about the journey not the destination - it's a common one for a reason. When I put myself down and judge myself against what I want to be in the future, I'm losing out on any source of happiness I could be having now. I don't want to live like that. Who would really?
The other half of the equation for me is understanding that by accepting myself now doesn't mean I want to let go of all the dreams I have more myself. For me, it's both. Loving myself for everything I've been through, who I am in this exact moment, and being excited for the life I am creating for myself.
I am committing for the month of February to continue using that sticky note strategy, but to actually say it out loud. I'm interested in seeing the difference between just thinking it and saying it out loud. Join me in making the next 28 days all about reminding ourselves that we are enough, just the way we are right now.