Honey, I've shrunk!

Just a quick update today:

1) Last week I went to some awesome goal setting sessions with my BW group that helped to reset my motivation. I committed to getting 15 work outs in by Dec 31st and since I'm already at 7, I don't think that's going to be an issue at all. Especially since my swim suit and goggles are already packed for my 9 days at home!

2) I went to start packing for home and found a pair of my old pants rolled up in the bottom of one of my suitcases. Naturally I had to try them on. It helps put everything into perspective!

Karin and I BOTH fit, each of us in one pant leg. How crazy it that!

I'm getting accustomed to my current size so seeing these pictures now remind me of how far I've come. I remember being anxious because they were starting to get tight on me and they were the highest size Addition Elle carried. That was a year and a half ago during my first practicum. This year, I'm reentering grade one with both a new wardrobe and an entirely different outlook on life. 

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Self Care

In about 10 minutes I'll be leaving to go visit my practicum class for the very first time! Hard to believe this day is finally here, it definitely snuck up on me. I was doing all fine and dandy until about 6pm last night when I started thinking about all the "shoulds."

I should have gone in earlier.
I should have volunteered in a classroom all semester.
I should have an amazing game to play!
I should look absolutely amazing to give a first impression.
I should seem really relaxed, and eager to be there.
I should, I should, I should.

Then the shouldn't...

I shouldn't show my insecurities.
I shouldn't have spent so much time working on myself this past week!
I shouldn't be stressing about this!
I shouldn't, I shouldn't, I shouldn't.

My mini stress freak out lasted about an hour before I realized what I was doing. I heard Brene Brown's voice in my head and tried to banish all the shoulds from my mind. I mentally shook myself, took some deep breaths, and reached out to a couple of my Ed friends who I knew would understand where I was at. This was the trouble I got myself in last practicum, getting so caught up in the worry that I forgot to enjoy where I was at. So, instead - this is the attitude I am going into the class with this morning:

It is for the kids. I'm not learning how to prove that I'm the best student teacher, I'm not trying to impress everyone that I am magically as good as someone who has been in this career for over a decade. I am learning how to be the most effective teacher I can be for the students. I am learning how to navigate a stressful profession, build relationships, and never lose sight that I am there to inspire children to learn. This practicum is also to help me grow as a person and professional. I will not be perfect. I will make mistakes. Part of what I'll be learning is how to use my mistakes to grow and learn, rather than condemn and criticize myself. And that is OK. I'm at where I'm at and I am who I am.

Today is not about being perfect. Today is about meeting an awesome group of adults and children that I will have the privilege to learn with.

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Late Night Realizations

The result of attempting decision making at 11:45pm while trying to finish a paper...

OK, exercise next semester! Decision time! Biggest Winner, regular BDHQ classes, hot yoga,
UVic gym, dance classes?!? How can I chose? What can I afford?
Damn BDHQ for having such awesome Christmas coupons while I'm still in school mode.

Hey! Wait! Look at all the options I have!

OMG I feel like an athlete. I AM an athlete! I know I can do any and all of those things.
I want to do these things. This is the first time that's ever happened in my life.

Stress = gone. Whatever I chose, I'm just so happy to be where I am today
rather than where I was two years ago.

P.S. My guns are coming in nicely. Go me. 

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