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| See the smile.. nothing fake about it :) |
On the other I am just feeling off. My routine has been thrown off by the long weekend and then getting sick with the stomach flu. I haven't had a good sweaty workout since running the half marathon nor have I had a day of my normal healthy food. I think both of those are contributing to my unease. Today is the first day where I finally feel like I have good energy again but now I'm trying to catch up on all the homework I delayed this week. I am feeling the pressure to get down the business.
The frustrating thing is the harder I try to force myself to work, the more lost I feel. I used to love putting together unit plans. Looking at all the ideas and activities, imagining it in my head, pouring over pinterest... I genuinely enjoyed doing the process. Now I try to do it and my brain refuses to co-operate. All I can do is think.. should I focus my lesson on this? Or what about this? What do I want to get across? What's most important? What really matters to the kids? What really matters to me? What do I *want* to teach?
And that's usually where I get side tracked and start thinking about my inquiry class. I love the class, I really do, but I'm finding it hard to get away from the reflexive and holistic thinking and just get down to business to concentrate on my homework. I realized on Wednesday that I am feeling this struggle between "who I used to be" and "who I am now." And it really bothers me because I want to dive into that topic, read, think about it, blog about it but I can't afford to do that right now. My school work is really important, and I actually like all of my classes and most of the assignments that I need to be working on. But what am I doing instead of unit planning? I'm signing up for meditation classes and blogging.
That's it, I need to clear my head and blogging for once seems to be making it worse not better. I'm going to walk around Cedar Hill golf course. Exercise + nature has never failed me before.
Susie! I found when I took that inquiry class that - what's the saying again? - try to be comfortable with the unease of it all? - anyway, it was VERY uncomfortable and irritating to always feel in limbo so to speak about the way you are feeling, and also to be so open and constantly questioning the things you're feeling.
ReplyDeleteI think what I ended up doing, and what might be a solution to what you're feeling (or part of what you're feeling) is to just consider your inquiry project another "homework" item and do what you can without going too deep. I know that going deep into it is sort of the point, and I feel that you've been doing an inquiry really before the class even started, but overnalysing and overthinking was always a problem I had in that class too....I don't know if that helps or not...haha.
Thanks Jess! It does help.. even just knowing other people had the same experience. And you hit it right on the head with overanalysing and overthinking :)
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