Breathing

It's amazing what a kick a$$ 6am workout can do for you! I really gave it my all in class today, even though I was super exhausted. My body quickly reverted back into the bed at 11, up at 7am schedule so my alarm at 5am this morning was not welcome. Thankfully class was mostly a circuit, with only a start and finish on the spin bike; my thighs were killing me after a week of running/biking. It's funny, some days I think I'm working super hard but don't work up a sweat and then others when I'm tired (like today) it's pouring off. It's always worth it though because now I am bursting with energy.

I feel as though I've had a very productive day already, and it's not even 10am! Love it. I'm on campus now about to pick up my books and agenda, but thought I'd take a break to do a bit of reflecting. It's bizarre how quiet campus is in the summer, it makes me want to sit down and take a few minutes to just breathe and think. If only the whole school year felt that way!

After my last practicum, I was a bit anxious about the start of school and wondering if teaching was really for me. There's still a bit of the uneasy feeling there, but I'm realizing it's not as predominant as it was before. I'm finding that once I can work through the anxious feelings, there's a real passion for teaching. I want to share my experience and knowledge with others. I need to get more experience and knowledge, but I don't want to let that overwhelm me any more. It will come. I am choosing to trust that I am right where I'm meant to be, and will continue to work towards where I want to be. I've changed a lot over this summer and it wasn't until I looked back that I could see that. I'm excited for the school year to start, not just to see all my friends again and for classes, but because I want to see how it all fits together. These past few months have been about learning about my strengths, my weaknesses, what I want to improve on and what I'm just fine leaving as is. One thing that is important for me is taking the time to relax and not be so incredibly busy all the time. To clarify, between school, work, working out, and spending time with people I care about, I am bound to be busy. But there is a difference between enjoying your busy life and being so wrapped up in getting to the next thing on the to do list that you are always in a frenzy. I may be out of the house for most of the day or have a good portion of my day scheduled, but I want to be calm about it. I want to enjoy my day (as often as I can).

Right now, I am promising to myself that I won't forget the small things I want to work on. Like taking the time to stop and feel the sun on my skin. Or taking 5 minutes a day to breathe and do a check in with how my body's feeling. I will drink tea and relax. I will take the time for fun. This is my last 8 months as an undergrad, I want to cherish it.

I also won't forget the big things, like working out and eating right. I won't be perfect, but I don't want to be. I just want to be me. I want to read books/blogs about being healthy body, mind and soul. I want to be inspired by my family and friends. I want to continue blogging. I want to make mistakes. I want to learn. There's nothing wrong with wanting everything right? :)

I am also reminding myself to be patient. Right now everything is so great, and it seems easy to think about taking the time to relax every day. But there will be days where that doesn't happen. I will have bad days and bad weeks. But those days will pass, and I will need to forgive myself and continue to move forward.