Game Changer

Yesterday I was asked this poignant question: what would my life look like if it’s NOT about losing weight? 

I was speechless. My life has to be about losing weight. Why? Well, because I'm fat. Because I have to get skinny. Why? Because I have to get healthy. Aren't you passionate about Health at Every Size? Yes, ok, other people can preach body love and fat acceptance and I will always cheer them on, but I have to lose weight. Why? Umm, umm, umm, well, because I want to be a naturopath. OK, so why do you have to lose weight? Because no one will go see a fat naturopath. Says who? Oh. Says me. The truth - it's the only way of life I know.

The last 10 years of my life can be summed up in two categories: losing weight or failing at losing weight.

Along the way I’ve managed to conquer countless fears, earn a degree, make a lasting impact on dozens of people’s lives, but it all seems to boil down to one fact. I gained the weight back. Again.  Therefore, I failed.

But wait… what if it wasn’t that? What if it didn’t need to be that?

What if I chose to not be a player in the multi-billion industry that has a 95% failure rate. 

What if I could just change my context entirely? What if my life was about doing what I love, being with people I love, and making a difference in the world?

Game changer.

My monkey mind is telling me I’ve tried to do this before. And I have. I've had some success with it too. Fairly short termed.. I'd have maybe one whole day of not thinking about my food choices. And then the next day I'd beat myself up twice as hard. I also did most of it alone. I’d let people in, and let people help me… but only as far as I comfortable letting them in. And if it got too intense I’d pull away. 

I could fight that voice and try to prove it wrong. I could listen to that voice and raise my hands in defeat. Or... I could smile. I could say thank you. I can say: I honour you. Thank you for keeping me safe so far. 

Now I’ve got something even bigger on my side. Not only do I have a community of people who will stand by my side as I fumble my way through this new way of thinking, I'm actually aware of it. I know who they are and man, do I ever love my army of dreamers.

What if I just really don’t have a clue how to do it at all? What if I could stop pretending that I know what I am doing? What if I could just embrace the crazy wonderfulness of my life?

So this is me. Learning what it looks like to live a life that’s NOT about losing weight. 

I'll leave you with this gem:

This is the theme song of my life. It's been playing on repeat ALLLLL week.