I realized that I've been relating to everything as something I needed to win. School, career, family, weight loss... it was if I couldn't let myself enjoy the journey unless I knew I'd be getting a gold star at the end. And when I put things out that I didn't know how to win (like my Impossible List), I'd freak out and conveniently "forget" about it. I've been doing some work to shift that way of thinking lately and it's made the last few months make a lot more sense.
Looking back, I realize now that my game for the last two months has been what is the absolutely minimal actions I need to take so that no one notices I'm drowning and will leave me alone. It worked. For maybe three weeks tops. Then people saw and have been loving the heck out of me as I get back on my two feet again.
It was so obvious when I saw it. When I don't create big games that excite me, my default is to hide and blame. "Go away world, I'm sulking here." Good thing to note! Slowly and surely each step I've been taking these last few weeks has me waking up to the world around me. Now I look around and I have so much going on that I realized I needed to get clear about what I was up to. Insert.. the Wisdom Course!
May 29th marked the first day of my 8 month program. Earlier this week I created what I wanted to get out of the course with my Accomplishment Coach. I'm a little scared of sharing the goals... my identity hates when it thinks people will notice I fail. But here they are anyway! If you want to join me in any of these, get in touch! Let's support one another.
My declaration: By the end of the program, I've designed the life I've never even imagined I could have.
Health
My relationship to my body will be one of love and empowerment. I will nourish myself: mind, body and soul.
Love
Fall in love with a man who lights up my soul and makes me laugh. Have fun together - in and out of the bedroom!
Career
Immediate game: get a job. Make amazing workshops with Jane from TRE Vancouver. Be part of Empower Health growing and expanding.
Long term game: My career takes off! Make the choice - do I go back to school to become a naturopathic doctor? I've begun to map out my niche in the holistic health field and have clarity around my next steps.
Family
Laugh with my family. Stand by my sister as she marries the love of her life. Spend quality time with my sister, parents, aunts, grandparents, cousins... hear their stories and share my own. True connection.
Finances
My cash flow is overfilling. I have a solid plan for getting out of debt and paying my student loans. I make budgets and STICK to it.
What game do you want to be playing? What could you create for yourself that would be worth your time? We're all in a made up games anyway. May as as well have fun while we're in it!
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