Attitude

Wow, hard to believe another month has flown by! I didn't mean to take such a long break from blogging, but I just haven't been in the mood to sit down and write lately.

Today's post is inspired by a quote I saw (on pinterest, of course!)

Tomorrow marks my last class of my Education degree. It's hard to believe that after 6 long years the end is finally in sight. After this, I have an 8 week practicum and then for the first time in 18 years I don't have plans to go back to school in September. It feels incredibly strange. And overwhelming thinking of applying for jobs, finding a place to live, and other important life decisions.

I haven't been coping so well with the upcoming end. In the past I haven't done so well with endings. Or change. But this past week has helped to clear my mind a bit. I've changed a lot in the last few years. I need to start trusting myself more and recognizing all the hard work I've already invested.

People keep asking me what my plans are after I graduate, and it was getting harder and harder to answer that question without feeling guilty or anxious. That all stops now though. I have a game plan.

Step 1) Attitude change. Rather than feeling overwhelmed with all the choices I have to make in the next few months, I am choosing to be incredibly grateful that I have the opportunity to make these choices. I will be a university grad. I have already shown that when I have a goal, I am determined to meet it. Small efforts repeated day in, and day out. My life has completely changed over the last two years, and I'm so happy with the results. I have faith that it will only go up from here.

Step 2) Rock my practicum. And by rock my practicum, I don't mean impress the heck out of everyone with being super student teacher. I mean be true to myself, try my best, love my students, and embrace the wonderfulness of not being perfect.

Step 3) Create a system for those days that I know practicum will be tough. This includes motivational pages full of quotes that remind me to relax and let go and also planning board game/card nights with my friends to help keep me grounded.

Step 4) Continue with the Biggest Winner program. Before Christmas I made the decision to stick with BW for another year (at a discounted price, woot woot!) and I am so happy that I did. It's a wonderful group of people and I am thriving in the positive energy.

Step 5) Complete the Landmark Forum. More on this later.

Step 6) In April, celebrate being finished practicum, find a place to live and find a job. I recognize that these will probably need to start happening before practicum actually finishes, but I am not super concerned about them right now, I need to focus on planning for my practicum right now.

Step 7) Spend a few months in Victoria, working and just living life. I don't know where yet, but I know I want to stay in Victoria, at least for a little while longer. After practicum I can look at my options, and where I want to go, and what I want to do with my life. I'm 85% sure that will include teaching abroad for at least a year or two, but who knows.

This month has been about learning to take deep breaths. I am usually a very planned, scheduled person but I am choosing to let go of some of that control. To just enjoy life. I am so looking forward to not being in school, to be living and have free time to explore my interests. I'm looking forward to my life as I've created it now. Trying new fitness challenges... another half marathon? Tough Mudder? There's so much in my life to be thankful for and excited about.

My next challenge will be putting this attitude change into effect day in and day out. It's one thing to sit on my couch and proclaim to myself "I'm going to be different from here on out!" It takes a lot more effort to follow through. But I am strong, I am determined, and I love being happy. When I find myself feeling overwhelmed, I will close my eyes, take a breath and say "This is home."

(Yes, I've been playing this song on repeat pretty much all night. I'm not ashamed to admit it! Ok, maybe laughing at myself a little bit for being such a dork, but I love the song, and what it means for me.)