A Teacher's Passion

I can't believe tomorrow is already the first day of classes. The last first day back I'll ever experience as an undergraduate. It's been a long time coming! Today was really neat though because as part of EdSA, I went to the orientation for the first years. I remember Nicole telling me she got more out of the one last year than she did in our first year, and I definitely agree. It was so inspiring listening to some of the speakers. It reminded me why I went into teaching in the first place. I love teaching and learning, and making a difference in the lives of others. I want to be part of something that changes the world, even if it's just a small piece of someone's world. I'm here to live and enjoy myself, but I don't want to passively go through life.

After today, I realized that I am actually looking forward to being back in classes and learning. Practicum still scares the bejesus out of me, but I'm not dreading it any more. I am feeling much more confident in myself and in my abilities outside of the classroom, which I hope translates to inside the classroom. What I am working on next is being more comfortable with not having all the answers and accepting that I am still very new in this profession. I still get so anxious when I think about classroom management and assessment, but I am finding ways to help ground me. My problem is that I worry and worry, working myself into a thither which in the long run doesn't do me any favours. It only serves to undermine any ability that I do have. I'm not entirely sure how I'll work around that yet, but I know it will only happen in baby steps. I didn't lose all this weight overnight and I'm not going to be able to change how I react to things overnight either. Right now when I catch myself being too harsh with myself when it comes to teaching I remind myself to take a deep breath. Teachers are all people too, we have our own passions, interests, strengths and weaknesses. I do not need to be the "perfect teacher," whoever that mythical person is. Education is all about change and being a lifelong learner. That is the philosophy that I want to embody and share with others, not perfectionism.

This may be a bit too over the top and egotistical, but I'm starting to feel like if I can lose 100lbs, I can do anything. I've dedicated blood, sweat and tears to my weight loss journey. It takes a lot of time and energy and I don't regret a second of it. I'm looking forward to putting MORE time and energy into it. If I can apply that dedication to other parts of my life.. who knows what I can do? And for me, it's all about the small baby steps. I love the quote "success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." I think it is a great representation of my weight loss journey and I want it to be a representation of my career as well.